Wow. Wow. I cannot believe you guys had the temerity to throw a party without me. This is just—wow. I mean, I live here. I pay rent. You assholes eat my shit out of the fridge, you don’t clean the bathroom, you stay up all hours—and you can’t even invite me to the kegger you’re throwing in our living room. Well, fine. Fine. That’s great. You do whatever.
I’m going to turn off the lights, and then I’m going to eat every single one of you.